Useless Knowledge

Things in my brain that are completely useless, taking up space that could be better used for handier knowledge:

1) My friend C's old phone number from high school. I don't even remember my own phone number from high school, but I remember hers. It's useless knowledge as her parents have long since abandoned this number. (937 - 5065) Go ahead and call it. It's not my number.

2) My gym locker combination from 7th grade. Seriously? That was a long time ago. (7-28-14; each digit was divisible by 7 and I clearly took that to heart.)

3) The name of Brett Favre's dog (Charlie) and the name of Michael Phelps's dog (Herman). I'm a sucker for ads with adorable dogs. FYI, the dogs in the Favre/Wrangler ads are not Charlie. I spend time wondering if it hurts Charlie's feelings when he sees those commercials, though.

4) How to change the fuse for a radio in 92 Chevy Silverado. I drove this truck in college and the damn fuse would blow every other month or so. I used to take it to the dealership (who cared if the belts were slipping? my radio was broken!) to get it done until, after the third or fourth time, the guy took me aside and showed me how to do it myself. Since I wrecked this truck in 2001, I doubt I'll ever need this knowledge again.

5) Every word to 18 and Life by Skid Row. I have used this knowledge to do a kick ass version of karaoke, but I don't really think that's helpful.

Tequila in his heartbeat
His veins burned gasoline
It kept his motor running
But it never kept him clean

Words to live by, yo.

6) The echidna is a small mammal and the males have a four headed penis. Only two of the heads are actually used and the other ones don't grow! (Apparently they alternate which of the two heads are "active" during sex.) I love this knowledge and find an occasion about once a week to bring it into conversation.

7) The tapir is the world's largest rodent. A lot of this is animal-related useless knowledge. Clearly I take reading the signs at zoos way too seriously.

8) Diamonds are the hardest gemstones, followed by rubies, followed by sapphires.

9) Those plastic or metal thingmabobs on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

10) There's a mysterious void in the English language. Children who lose their parents are called orphans. A man whose wife dies is a widow. A woman whose husband dies is a widower. But a parent whose child(ren) die has no word. There's a word for this lack of a word and it bothers me that I can't remember it just now.