A Reminder to Myself

Dear NGS,
I know you feel like the waking dead. Exhaustion hits in waves and I know you need a break. For the first time in months, you are craving the fake alertness of caffeine and have succumbed to the lure of the bed for the extra half-hour of sleep in the morning, forgoing your shower and feeling grimy all day. It's your own fault - you've over committed yourself (AGAIN), but now it can't be undone. You have to get through it. The days fly by, but you've got to avoid dwelling on the wrapping left to do, the cookies left to bake, the cards left to send, the parties to plan, the trip to plan, the budgeting to figure out, the apartment to clean, and the sleeping that needs to happen.

You have to promise me that you will stay upbeat during the holiday season. The tree is up and there was no protracted process like when your parents did it. A glass of apple cider, Los Straightjackets on repeat on the stereo, and a half hour of pure joy. Now whenever you feel like crying because there's so much to do, you can just look at those twinkling lights and feel the weight come off your shoulders as you think about that tree. There are only a couple of dozen ornaments on that tree, but each one has a story and each one is a treasure. The boy is a treasure in himself, his patience becoming more apparent with each passing day.

You need to remember all the good things going on in your life right now. You had dinner last night with a dear friend you need to see more often. You have out of town friends coming in for one last grad school celebration. There will be pregnant belly patting and baby cooing over. You have two weeks of time with your husband coming after this next hellish week is over.

You can't keep thinking about the bound to be uncomfortable trip back to Michigan in a couple of weeks. You will only be there a few days and then it will be all over. Your husband will be there with you and if all else fails, you guys can hit the road early and stay at a Holiday Inn in the middle of the Midwest.

You can't think about the pain from those people shaking your hand last night (OMG! what were they trying to prove?) or the twinge you feel when you twist off the milk cap in the morning. You have to remember that there is no cast anymore, only rarely a splint, and the vague memory of discomfort and not being able to shower.

You can't think about the disappointments at work. You can't think about the chicken pox outbreak (again OMG! It's 2008! There's a VACCINE!). You have to think about the successes, the joys, the laughs, the smiles.

You can't think about how sad it is that your engagement ring has to be changed. You love that sapphire and that setting, but it has to change. You can't wear it like it is and you will still love that stone in a new setting. You will love it because you know that it represents so much to both of you. You will be so happy to be able to wear it all the time. Don't forget to remember how lucky you are that you even have the option to change it. Some people aren't so lucky!!

You have a wonderful life. In the rush of these days, you may feel overwhelmed. Don't forget to enjoy what you do have.

Love,