Wedding Content - Read at Your Own Peril

We made the decision early on to have a small wedding. We failed. Biker Boy's immediate family alone numbers more than I wanted to have. So we're having a medium-ish wedding. We sent out 65 invitations (which numbers about 120ish). We're hoping for a turnout of 75-100. RSVPs are trickling in and we should have a firm count in the next couple of weeks. (And, as a sidenote, can I just say that the excitement of so much mail every single day is FANTASTIC?)

So, the invitations went out to immediate family members, aunts and uncles, and friends (our guest list is actually divided up into Biker Boy's friends, NGS's friends, and our Minneapolis friends). We did not invite cousins because it would practically double our guest list. We did not invite children of friends because then we would have been overrun by small children. I adore children, but it seems to me that in recent years I have been to a number of weddings where kids sort of ran amok at weddings. Plus, parents can't really have fun when they have to watch their kids. I want people to have a good time. Plus, our wedding is an evening wedding. Hopefully these children have bedtimes that are way before we plan on our event ending. So there you have it. My reasoning.

Okay, we even shelled out the extra bucks for an inner envelope so that we could specifically write every single person's name on the envelope who was invited. We spent hours practicing having conversations with people about how they couldn't bring their kids. We spent hours over Christmas finessing Biker Boy's family about a certain small child. This was a big freaking deal and we did everything we could to make sure people knew before the invitations arrived what was what.

So, I'm sure you can guess what happened. We got back an RSVP card that included children. It was one of MY relatives, of course, so I had to write the email explaining all of the no kids, no cousins, doubling the guest list, blah, blah, blah crap. I took the blame, apologizing for any miscommunication (even though it was CLEARLY communicated in my humble opinion). And got a badly punctuated email in return, basically saying that the parents weren't going to come then, either.

And, I'm going to be honest, I was hurt. I was a little mad, but mostly I was hurt that they would be angry with me when they were the ones who disregarded what the invitation actually said and then had the gall to act like I was the one being rude by pointing out that they were in the wrong.

After scouring message boards to make sure I wasn't being silly and overreacting (I mean, we spent A LOT of time and money making sure the invitations were just so to avoid having to have these tense discussions), I realized that I had to let it go. They aren't going to come, they'll probably hold a grudge for a long time about me not wanting their kids to come, and family gatherings will take on a tense air.

So, what's with this? Why do people not realize that there are some places to which their children shouldn't be? Why are people so rude as to ignore basic etiquette? Could we have been clearer in some way? Blech.

I'm a bit stressed out about this. (And stressed about the hotel that keeps telling our guests that the block is full. Okay, so add some more fucking rooms to the block. The hotel is empty that weekend except for our wedding. Blech. The sales and catering manager and I are going around and around about this. See, it's my responsibility to make sure there are enough rooms available. But the web site that they promised me would let me check on my rooms regularly doesn't work and they know it doesn't work. So how can I check? Good question. But it's my responsibility. Until I go to that hotel on Friday afternoon and kick some sales and catering manager ass.)

So, if you've been wondering what I've been doing for the last week, I think you can guess. Carefully worded emails with terse emails written in response. Carefully worded voice mails with incompetence in response. Oh, plus I have these pesky jobs and somehow I need to sleep. And read me some JD Robb.