Meaninglessness

I regularly read a column called "Not That You Asked" and it makes me laugh because the person who writes it goes on a rant about whatever irks her on any given day and I feel like that's what this entry should be called, but I can't STEAL it, so I'll just let you know that I know that nobody asked for this.

1) I promised myself one full hour of trashy television today. I managed to fit in the last fifteen minutes of Beauty and the Geek. I am going to try to see if I can get those extra forty-five minutes in sometime soon.

2) I will not cry tomorrow. I will not snot on my fiance's shoulder. Because after the last few days, he does not want or need anymore slobber.

3) Spring is my least favorite season. It rains all the damn time, my allergies start acting up, and, here in the great state of Minnesota, it snows in late April. I got an email from someone today, who lives in a state below mine, and it said, "enjoy the great weather." I almost went through the computer and strangled that poor woman.

4) Disappointments are disappointing, but they don't make the world stop.

5) If I could be anywhere in the world right now, I would be here.

6) If I could change anything in the world right now, I would have a dog.

7) Compulsively checking our gift registries online makes me feel like an awful person. I have resolved to stop doing this, but I can't help myself.

8) Is it not clear that including a stamped RSVP card in your invitation means that you need to return the card? Even if it's to send your regrets? Did I miss the "RSVP only if you're attending" lesson in etiquette school?

9) Watching someone deliver an ill-prepared presentation is like watching a baby bird fall out of a nest. You know they have to do it to learn how to do it correctly, but it's painful to watch and you cringe the whole time.

10) I once had a cat named Frisky. He slept in bed with me. One day he ran away and never returned. This is why I will never have a cat for a pet again.