Videopalooza

Okay, last night, Biker Boy and I worked on a list of what I'm going to call iconic music videos. I tried, like a good social scientist, to come up with a list of criteria for what is iconic. It's not very good, but here's what I decided. 1) Must be the first to do whatever makes it important. We'll call this "revolutionary." 2) Song must be indelibly linked to the video. Which is to say, you honestly cannot hear the song without picturing the video in your head. We'll call this "picture perfect." 3) Must be copied in later music videos by other artists. Uh, we won't give this a cute name.

Here's the top 10-ish.

10) "Paradise City" by Guns and Roses, 1988 - Okay, well, I wanted to included a performance video and this one sprung to mind. Can't you just see Axl in his doorag (is that a word) making love to that mic stand? Just GN'R and the fans. Beautiful.

9) "Sledgehammer" by Peter Gabriel, 1986 - You'll notice that there is no criteria that NGS actually enjoy the music on this list. Because I hate this song. It just sounds so heavy and over-synthesized. The stop action animation used in this video is really well known. Possibly the first animated music video? I'm no expert, but it certainly was played all the damn time. And can you hear those opening notes without wishing that the damn sledgehammer would just smash Gabriel already and end the song?

8) "Janie's Got a Gun" by Aerosmith, 1990 - I really wanted to put "The Thunder Rolls" by Garth Brooks on this list, but I realized that Garth's video is really just a reworking of Aerosmith's, so I have to give the bad boys from Boston their props. Aerosmith isn't known for hard-hitting issues, but the grittiness of the video and the story-telling of the video are definitely revolutionary and heavily copied by later videos (think Pearl Jam's "Jeremy").

7) "Addicted to Love" by Robert Palmer, 1985 - Ummm, back to songs I don't like. This video has been copied and copied. Shania Twain's "Man! I Feel Like a Woman" and Beyonce's "Green Light" are tributes to Palmer. And remember that dream sequence from the television show Northern Exposure? You can't hear this song without seeing the lipstick and miniskirts, can you? And there was actual trickery in creating this video - green screens and whatnot. Good job, Palmer, for your great video to a crappy, crappy, crappy song.

6)a) "Losing My Religion" by REM, 1991 - This is totally Biker Boy's contribution. The super heavy saturation of religious imagery is somewhat revolutionary (well, there's "Like a Prayer" from Madonna, but Mag's is gonna get hers later in the list). And that's all I can say. REM, huh?

6)b) "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake, 1987 - Biker Boy picks REM and I pick Whitesnake. I think it says a lot about our musical oeuvres. I refuse to not include this video on this list, so I included a 6)b) because I hate REM. Anyway, I say "Tawny Kitaen" and you say "hot chick on the car in that video with those glam rock guys with long hair - who are those guys? not Great White? not Poison? Kiss? No? Who?" Right. Whitesnake. Hot chick flailing about on a car. Other videos may have shied away from overt sexuality until this point (it's 1987, people!), but Whitesnake ushered in an era of girls with no clothes on.

5) "Everything I Do (I Do it For You) by Bryan Adams, 1991 - Oh, my God. Okay, I couldn't decide on what movie video to put on the list. I ended up putting this one over "Crazy for You" by Madonna from the movie Vision Quest and "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston from The Bodyguard. And, really, I ended up choosing this because is there anything hotter than Bryan Adams AND Kevin Costner? I didn't think so. (Oh, and, I couldn't get this song out of my head last night after BB brought it up. There's nowhere unless you're there All the time all the way yeah. Imagine this followed up by some air guitar and you have some idea of how I spent my Sunday night.)

4) "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana, 1991 - Let's bring grunge in. Biker Boy may have mentioned "hot, skanky cheerleaders with tattoos." Nuff said.

3) "Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak, 1991 - I'm cheating a bit here with the dates. I think the video was released in '91, but I don't care enough to check my facts. Okay, this is the hottest video ever and was the spur for this post in general. There's a part in the song where the folks in the background are singing something ...it's a bit of a mystery what it is. BB and I kept rewinding the song, trying to figure it out and I said, "I think they're saying summer-summer-summertime" because it's all about Chris Isaak and that model chick being naked on the beach. And wasn't that a fine video? It's impossible to hear this song and not picture Chris Isaak naked.

2) Michael Jackson trio
a) "Thriller", 1983 - Okay, monsters dancing around in choreography. I don't even know what to say. Michael, did you know you'd become a monster someday? Basically, this entire video changed what music videos meant and I can't really discuss its impact because the downfall of Michael Jackson makes me want to scream and yell and throw things, so we're just going to say, good job on this one, buddy. You showed other artists how to do it.

b) "Billie Jean," 1983 - Oh, it lights up when you step there!! Do it again! Of course you're not the father.

c) "Black or White," 1991 - This definitely wasn't as popular as "Thriller," but I think that the special effects are cooler. This is the start of Jackson's descent into small children and plastic surgery, but you still get some of the old Jackson style here.

1) Any video by Madonna, pre- "Justify My Love" - Okay, I admit it. In each of the above entries, I really wanted to write "but Madonna did it first." I didn't. But I could have. Hey, Chris Isaak, you want sexy? Talk to Madonna about "Justify My Love." There's "Material Girl." Ahhhh...you want to be Marilyn Monroe, don't you Madonna? There's "Like a Virgin." Hey, Whitesnake, you want a woman writhing about on something? How about Madonna in a wedding dress humping the stage? Hey, Aerosmith, you want hard-hitting issues? How about some "Papa Don't Preach?" Hey, Peter Gabriel? You want a decent song? Madonna's gonna come show you how it's done.

There you have it. I love Madonna. Please feel free to correct my mistakes and tell me how wrong I am. But Chris Isaak is hot in that video!!