Dial A Song

For the first time in recent memory, I am home alone on a Friday night. There are a series of events that led to this, having to do with Biker Boy’s work load and crazy digestive system, but I’m going to spend my Friday night writing about what songs are on my playlist right now. I love, love, love reading about the music real people listen to. I’ll admit it – I’m not cool enough for The Current, the local alternative music station – and you won’t find any of the songs I’m going to talk about being played there. I’ve been on a bit of a kick with female singers, so you won’t find a lot of male artists here, but I’ve tried to diversify it a little bit.

“Men Don’t Change” – Amy Dalley
This chick is pretty awesome. She has released a few singles and this is one of them. Apparently she has a record deal with Curb Records. Anyway, this song is about how men are men and they will never stop with their own elusive brand of weird. County cool.

Cupid works for the devil
Be suspicious if he cries
You know sex is usually good
Yeah, but it ain't always right
Chocolate is a band-aid and no matter what they say
Shoes don't stretch and men don't change

“We All Sleep Alone” – Cher
I love Cher. Sometimes we will be alone, sleeping or otherwise. It’s an anthem of independence.

You got to be strong
When you’re out on your own
‘cause sooner or later
We all sleep alone

“No Regrets Yet” – Sonya Isaacs
This has been Sonya Isaacs only single that I have ever heard. Apparently she has an entire album out (produced by Vince Gill), but she hasn’t been hugely successful to my knowledge. This song makes me laugh because I have dated men named Mike and Joe and I feel like it describes my experience about four years ago to a tee.

“Before He Cheats” – Carrie Underwood
I’m with Katie here, I listen to this song a lot (and like it a lot). I think I probably feel more guilty than she does, however, because when I listen to this song, I can’t help but think about the number of crimes she is committing. When I watch the video, she actually does carve her name into the seat – “CARRIE” – in huge capital letters. I think, every single time, “damn, that girl is so going to get arrested. She is freaking leaving PROOF that it’s her.” Clearly this is what court monitoring and watching “Juvies” on MTV gets me.

Oh, and I love the line about dabbing on all three dollars worth of that bathroom Polo. There seems to be some debate on the lyric pages I looked at whether she says “Polo” or “cologne,” but I have always assumed it to be Polo, so that’s what I’m going to go with. Polo is the most disgusting cologne ever (followed closely by Gucci pour Homme, but Biker Boy’s obsession with finding the perfect scent that included me almost puking at the hideous smell that is Gucci is an entirely different post). Oh, and can anyone explain to me why there are so many shoutouts to other musicians in country music these days? There’s a song called “Tim McGraw” by Taylor Swift that’s popular right now. Dude, you shouldn’t be allowed a shoutout until you’re eligible for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Right now, she's probably up singing
some white-trash version of Shania karoke

“Operator (That’s Not the Way it Feels)” – Jim Croce
What can I say? This is a classic denial song. Jim and I go way back. Once on a trip to Iowa, I tried to get Biker Boy to listen to my Jim Croce CD. We got through about four songs before I couldn’t take the mockery and we put in a They Might Be Giants CD. I’m sorry I didn’t defend you better, Jim (I guess he’s dead and doesn’t care, but still, I’m sorry).

“Forgive” – Rebecca Lynn Howard
Pretty much I just love this song because she says “that’s a mighty big word for such a small man.” This is the only Rebecca Lynn Howard song that I know. She toured with Scotty Emerick and Toby Keith in 2005, though, so I am not sure if I can really like her. But I like this song, so just like the fact that I like a song by Carrie Underwood, I’ll have to forgive myself for this.

And just expect me to forgive...
Well that's a mighty big word for such a small man
And I'm not sure I can
Cause I don't even know now who I am
It's too soon for me to say...forgive

“Men & Mascara” – Julie Roberts
Julie Roberts had a hit last year with “Breakdown Here.” I want to hate her because she’s blonde and beautiful and there were lots of joke made about how you shouldn't confuse her with Julia Roberts because they are both beautiful, but I enjoy both of these songs. This one has the line “men and mascara always run.” This made me laugh and laugh when I first heard it. Then sob a little. Just kidding. Maybe.

She ain't gettin' any younger
It wasn't supposed to be this way
Starin' in the mirror
With little black rivers runnin' down her face.

“He Thinks He’ll Keep Her” – Mary Chapin Carpenter
Wow. I just realized that I should call this list “NGS hates men.” It’s not true. I swear. I like some men. MCC is cool. I will forgive her for that debacle of “Shut Up and Kiss Me” since it gave her the only number one single she’s ever had, but the true MCC shines in songs like this one and “Down at the Twist and Shout.” I feel like whenever Carpenter has a crisis in her life, she writes an excellent album. She has a new album out called “The Calling” and I think we should all run out, buy it, and show Faith Hill that you don’t have to be half-naked or sing like crap to sell albums.

“Picket Fences” – Chely Wright
Once I told Biker Boy that I wanted a house with a picket fence with a dog in the yard. He rolled his eyes. “Is that what you want or what you think you want?” Then I heard this song. I played it for him, but he was unimpressed.

Tell me what's so great about picket fences
Paintin' them is such a mess
And a big back yard where kids can play
I'd probably never get a moment's rest

“Believe” – Brooks and Dunn
The video for this song made me cry when I first saw it. All right, it doesn’t take much to make me cry. But, still. Cry I did. I love how it incorporates the themes of love of God and coming of age. Look, I don’t really know about an all powerful being in charge of the universe, but I admire those who believe. It’s hard to believe. And this song sort of gets at that fact.

I raise my hands, bow my head
I'm finding more and more truth in the words written in red
They tell me that there's more to life than just what I can see
Oh I believe

“Highway Patrolman” – Bruce Springsteen
Biker Boy and I were listening to “Nebraska” because why wouldn’t you listen to it? I mean, our musical oeuvres overlap very little and you can’t go wrong with The Boss (although there is heated debate over John Mellencamp who I claim is just a better articulated Springsteen, to which Biker Boy makes claims of blasphemy). This song came on and we stopped talking and just listened. I think it’s the saddest songs of one of the saddest albums ever. Complete with the gratuitous use of the word ain’t!

I catch him when he's strayin'
Teach him how to walk that line
Man turns his back on his family
He ain't no friend of mine