More Letters from NGS

Okay, this may explain why my productivity isn't what it should be.

Project Runway letters:

Dear PR Producers,
You suck. Just because you didn't expect Uli to win doesn't mean you don't get to eliminate someone. Jeffrey or Michael should have been gone. Furthermore, the person who gets the $10,000 fan favorite money should have been someone who didn't get a chance to show at Fashion Week. Not one of the Final Four. You bite.

Thanks,



Dear Bradley,
You look quite hot now. You are a shining example of why facial hair is bad, bad, bad. Thank you for shaving (and the haircut is nice, too!). I will officially like you now.

Thanks,



Dear Keith,
You cheated. You need to own it. Don't try to pretend that the producers colluded to get you kicked off. Bite it. And take your fashion books with you.

Thanks,



Dear Vincent,
Hate.
Thanks,



Gilmore Girls letters:

Dear New Director,
Did you know that a lot of us love the Palladinos? You have big shoes to fill. And having Luke and Lorelei fight in a superstore (not Doosie's Market) is not the way to win our hearts. Showing Luke and Lorelei fight in the middle of the road, with wide shots, not focused on the faces of the actors, is also not the way to win our hearts. Furthermore, your new sets and your new newness is not welcome. Oh, and where are Richard and Emily?

Thanks,



Dear Rory,
Cut the bangs. You slept with a married man. It's hard for me to believe that you were so upset with your mom for sleeping with someone when she was not married and he was not married. Because you know what? You slept with a married man. I remember three seasons ago and a lot of other people do too. You're a spoiled, spoiled brat. No one was married. Sex was allowed, imprudent though it may have been.

Thanks,



Dear Lauren Graham,
You are gorgeous. Don't ever let them dress you in a kimono again.

Thanks,



And letters from the editor:

Dear Mark Foley,
You sent sexually explicit messages to minors through the internet. You're a complete, complete idiot. Don't make me think you're a more of an idiot by blaming it on childhood abuse or because you are gay. Don't you think people who were abused as children and gay people have a hard enough life without this? People like you blaming their misdeeds on being gay or being abused makes it harder and harder for people to get respect (gay folks) and help (abuse survivors). Please own up to your mistakes, take responsibility, and stop making excuses.

Thanks,



Dear Denny Hastert,
Perhaps I should have copied you on a letter I just wrote to Mark Foley. Please don't make excuses. If you knew about ethical misconduct in your party in your House, you need to admit it, own up to it, and take responsibility.

Thanks,



Dear Republicans,
I would have rather the 2006 election been about issues like the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan or Social Security reform, but if you want to make it about campaign finance scandals and sordid internet dealings, so be it.

Thanks,