One Thanksgiving Away From Home

I graduated from high school on a Saturday. I suppose most people do. That night, with the thought of curbing underage drinking and extreme partying, the parents of the graduating seniors organized what we called at my high school The Senior All Nighter. It was a big deal. The vast majority of the class loaded up into four school buses and we went to a bowling alley where there was bowling, of course, a gambling room, a karaoke room, and a bunch of other things that parents of high school seniors think high schoolers will like. We were in lockdown, but we were so distracted we didn’t know that they were manipulating us STILL. And I remember, when we arrived back at our high school, the high school from which we had just graduated, one my good friends from high school said, “hey, we’re alumni now.” And it was at that moment that I realized I wasn’t going to see my friends everyday. I mean, it seems IMPOSSIBLE when you graduate from high school that you won’t see these people the next day. Or, at the very least, see them after a fairly extended break. I mean, I had been in the same school district for TEN YEARS. It was, at that point, more than half my life. I had the comfort zone of those same people for years and it was this moment, this “hey, we’re alumni now” moment that the reality of the situation overcame me and I STARTED BAWLING. And I couldn’t stop. How could I not see Nick? Carrie? Kristy? Go to my super organized locker and hand in my super organized homework? What if, in my next thing in life, I’m not super organized? I’m not successful? The pressure was too much for me. Yesterday, I sat in my bed and watched the last season of Sex and the City on Thanksgiving. And went downstairs every now and then to check in with my roommates and play with the cat. I realized that this was another moment. I didn’t spend a major holiday with my family. It’s a whole new world. What if, without the fallback of my family, I fall apart and become one of those people who hate the holidays because they don’t have that family? But, instead of crying like I did that day when I graduated from high school, I smiled. I like watching Sex and the City instead of stressing out about having quality family time. And I like this. This new phase of my life when I decide if I want to have family time, how much, and on what terms. Your twenties kind of suck, but at least there are little steps when you realize that growing up isn’t so bad.