This here is Wilson. He lives with a human who is a member of my book club. He likes to pee on the carpet, eat spinach dip and pita bread, and curl up on your lap so he can make you feel like you are the most special person in the world.
I learned all that in just two hours with him.
This here is Zoe. She likes belly rubs, laying on your feet, and barking at squirrels. This I have learned after nine Sunday mornings of vigorous petting sessions and hearing her bark. She's also wiggly and hard to take a photograph of.
Maybe I don't need to get a dog. Maybe I should just keep on enjoying other people's canine friends.