Wednesday, March 25, 2015

10.25 Courage - Doctors Don't Know Best

Bestest Friend and I are in the middle of a blog project. Each day of the month we will post a picture on a pre-determined theme and write a little something about it. The theme for the twenty-fifth day of each month is "Courage."
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I was at the doctor's office for a couple of reasons: I had to establish primary care (you know, after living here for over two years, maybe it's time) and I have the sinus infection from hell.  The nurse practitioner (seriously, does anyone ever see an actual physician anymore?) was running down the list: alcohol, minimal; drugs, no; floss, yes; sexual partners, one; safe at home, yes; exercise, yes; smoke, no.  She glances at me as I rattle off my answers as quickly as possible (PAIN LEVEL GIVE ME ALL THE ANTIBIOTICS YOU HAVE) and makes a joke about being a model patient.

"Well, my father died when he was 56, my mother suffers from chronic depression, and my husband is chronically ill. It behooves me to take care of myself."
"I see you take a daily OTC allergy medication."
"Yes. I live with a cat."
"Is it your cat?...or a roommate's?"
"She's mine." At this point, I am ready to take my phone out and start showing pictures.
"About that."
"About the cat?"
"Yes. About that."
"Her. She's a girl."
"About her. If you have year-round allergies, you probably shouldn't have any indoor pets."
I wave her off almost immediately at her little speech.
"Do you have children?"
"Of course." (Ooookay, this lady and I are not hitting it off right now.)  I can tell she's about to take her phone out and start showing pictures.
"Would you get rid of one of them if you occasionally got the sniffles around them?"
Shocked look from nurse practitioner.
"I'm not getting rid of my cat."
"It's just that the sinus infection is probably -"
"Stop. I'm not getting rid of my cat. I will exercise, I will eat fucking carrots for lunch, I will remain monogamous until the day that I die, but I AM NOT GETTING RID OF MY CAT."
"It's just -"
"The cat is as crucial to my mental health as the exercise is to my physical cat. She is a loved, cherished member of our family and the next time you even dare to suggest I get rid of her, I will walk out of this office and never return."
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 To see what Bestest Friend wrote about the theme of the day, check out her blog, Too Legit to Quit.

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