45 x 365 #164

164/365 - CG

We packed up the boxes and carried them out to the truck. You thanked me. You asked me if I wanted water. You sent me away with homemade cookies. A mother who lost her adult son, but still looking for a child to tend to.

Our Wedding Music List

Today is the first anniversary of our marriage. I thought I'd take the opportunity to show with you the list my husband diligently worked on for months before the big day. We used this list to create a CD that was played during the dinner hour. I have to admit that I heard none of these songs at that time because I was too busy eating. However, when we left in the car to head to the hotel after the reception, the boy popped in this CD and it was a special moment.

1) "Nothing Matters When We're Dancing" by The Magnetic Fields
This was, of course, the song we danced our first dance to. After that dance, I found myself off in the corner, slugging down water like a camel at an oasis, when BB's aunt came up to me and quizzed me on the song. Who sings it? How did we find it? Did we pick it on purpose to make her cry? Even BB's father told us we did right by picking that song.

We still regularly dance around the apartment to this song.

2) "Old-Fashioned Love" by Willie Nelson
BB tried really hard to make the set list so that it would appeal to lots of people. This remake does that in a real way. The song is definitely old-fashioned enough so that BB's grandma loved it, but it appealed to even me because, you know, it's Willie Nelson!!

3) "You Got to Me" by Neil Diamond
I think the boy has a man crush on Neil Diamond.

4) "No One Needs to Know" by Shania Twain
When we first got engaged, I used to crank this up really loudly in my truck while I went to school. I feel like there's a bit of a dearth of good songs for newly engaged women - there's a feeling of freedom, like anything's possible, that I've never felt at any other time in my life. Sure, regular love songs get to the love you feel, but there's something different. I feel like this song really captures it and I made the boy listen to this song dozens of times before he put together this list.

5) "Breathless" by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
I unexpectedly stopped by BB's apartment once when we were sort of a newly dating couple. He answered the door wearing ripped jeans, a bandanna wrapped around his head, and holding a mop. This song was blaring from the speakers. He was cleaning his apartment to this song. It was. . . incredibly adorable.

For the record, he's never mopped the floor in our apartment here!

6) "I'm on my Way" by The Proclaimers
They're so very Scottish. I can't help but try and mimic their accents with this one. It's never flattering for them or for me.

7) "Dream, Dream, Dream" by The Everly Brothers
When I was in sixth grade, if we were a well behaved class during the week, our teacher would reward us with an hour of music on Friday afternoons. He'd bust out his guitar, pass out sheets of paper with lyrics on them, and we'd sing. Mostly we sang songs from the 60s, including this one. I knew these lyrics before I understood what they were about.

8) "Two of Us" by Aimee Mann and Michael Penn (I think)
This is a remake of a Beatles song and I'm pretty sure those are the artists singing it. I'll double check with the boy when he gets home. Oh, did I not mention that my husband is working all day today ON OUR ANNIVERSARY? Crazy. Actually, it's okay. We both have tomorrow off.

9) "There She Goes" by The La's
Watching the move So I Married An Axe Murderer for the one hundredth time, the boy mentioned to me that this song is really about heroin. So there you go. We put a song about drugs on our dinner music for the enjoyment of our wedding guests.

10) "Baby I Love You" by Bonnie Raitt and B. B. King
Bonnie Raitt and I have a close relationship. B. B. King and I less so. It's a great song. The boy made use of a lot of duets on this playlist. This is one of the best, I think.

11) "Hesitating Beauty" by Billy Bragg and Wilco
This song is just pretty. Surprisingly pretty because I would think that a combination of Bragg and Wilco would be a giant noisy mess, but no, they created this sweet, lovely song. I guess you shouldn't always judge a book by its obnoxiously loud cover.

12) "It's Oh So Quiet" by Bjork
I hate this song. I dislike Bjork and she spends a good portion of this song screeching and screaming and it inevitably makes me cringe. I think that the boy put this on the CD just to see if I'd actually kick him during our wedding day.

13) "A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square" by Mel Torme (?)
It turns out I have to check the artists for a bunch of these. Here I was thinking I knew all these songs. I must have gotten too cocky after listening to this CD dozens and dozens of songs.

14) "Cool Love" by Chris Isaak
Christ Isaak is not one of my favorite artists, but I like that the boy picked this song over the more obvious "Wicked Games" choice. P.S. Chris Isaak is really hot. It's too bad his voice is not my favorite.

15) "Callin' Baton Rouge" by Garth Brooks
The boy allows me to listen to relatively few Garth songs. He gets really irritated with the "over produced obnoxious vocal twists." That's a direct quote. My husband doesn't feel the Garth love I do. Anyway, he does like this song. Apparently the combo of the fiddles and Garth singing too quickly to be able to do vocal aerobics works for him.

16) "Galway Girl" by Steve Earle
Early on in our relationship, the boy tried to sway me to his musical side by making me mixed CDs (awwww). This song was on the first one he ever made for me. I love it. He loves it. I desperately wish I had black hair and blue eyes, so the boy could sing this song to me.

17) "I Can" by Golden Smog
I'm not sure why this song is on the list. It's a bit of an anomaly in that it's incredibly boring. And has a swear in it!! Dude, Grandma was listening to it!!

18) "Whisper your Name" by Harry Connick, Jr. (?)
I have to be wrong about the artist on this one. I can't imagine the boy would actually listen to Harry Connick, Jr. Do you know how much mocking the boy did of Connick during Hope Floats? It's true, you know. When we first dated, BB would watch movies like that with me. Now, he just rolls his eyes and tells me to watch chick flicks when he's at work. The romance is gone, my friends. Ha.

19) "I'm the One" by Gary Allan
Just like the boy tried to get me to listen to his music when we first started dating, I tried to get him to listen to my music. The only artists I really converted him to were Gary Allan and Brad Paisley. This song is perfect. Classic country. So, if you don't like country, you won't like this song, but I'm pretty sure it was put on the list to make me happy. And it does.

20) "Queen of Hearts" by Juice Newton
I got a Juice Newton CD from the boy for my birthday one year. Because I can sing Angel of the Morning word for word like nobody's business. Go Juice!!

21) "Love is Strange" by Mickey and Sylvia
An homage to my nonstop Dirty Dancing viewing? For a brief period in my life, this movie was on in the background of my life for practically every waking minute I was by myself. I'll never know whythe song actually made the list, but I can't help but picture Patrick Swayze whenever I hear it.

22) "I'm a Believer" by Neil Diamond
Diamond is the only artist to get two songs on the list. I wonder what that says about my husband?

23) "She's an Angel" by They Might Be Giants
A friend recommended the documentary about They Might Be Giants to me because of my well-documented Ira Glass love. Along the way, the boy and I fell in love with TMBG. A playlist rarely gets created in our household that doesn't include one of these songs.

24) "Handle with Care" by Traveling Wilburys
I think he put this on the list because I requested a Tom Petty song. This is a bit of a stretch in the defintion of "Tom Petty song."

25) "The Game of Love" by Wayne Fontana and the Mindbenders
Hmmmm...it's not the most romantic song in the world, but I think that the boy imagined dinner wouldn't last long enough to get this far through the list.

If you've made it this far, you are a glutton for punishment and someone who knows nothing about music writing about it!

45 x 365 #163

163/365 - MK

A friend from a time long ago. Our commonalities no longer exist, but we find ourselves exchanging holiday cards and good wishes. I wonder if we met today if we'd open ourselves up the way we did when we were young and ever so trusting.

45 x 365 #162

162/365 - MH

Beautiful eyes. Whenever we talk, I find myself mesmerized, unable to look away from them. I could lose myself in your eyes - in their unusual color, in their depth, in the emotions you can mostly control in your face, but not in those amber pools.

45 x 365 #161

161/365 - JS

A dear man with no social skills. You counted your job chickens before they hatched. Now that job is no longer there and you are horrified because you had no back up plans. You rightly fear the interviewing process. We'll keep our fingers crossed.

45 x365 #160

160/365 - PD

Strangely unqualified for the job for which you were hired, you frequently ask for those around you for help - help that you wouldn't need if you had the qualifications in the first place. Despite this, you make everyone smile and that must be enough for us.

45 x 365 #159

159/365 - JP

You described graduate school as the happiest time of your life. You told me of great flashes of insight, a love of the writing, and an insatiable inquisitiveness of the material. As I struggled through my own graduate work, I remembered this and became jealous.

45 x 365 #158

158/365 - JP

A funny man, dryly witty. You shared photos of your daughters, always with a snarky comment that those pictures were interesting mostly to you. I appreciated that parenthood had not fogged your viewpoint on the preciousness of your kids. They were cute, but just kids.

45 x 365 #157

157/365 - JR

We had an interest in so many of the same things - similar research, similar volunteer interests. But then you unintentionally broke a good friend's heart. It was hard to reconcile these two pieces of you. I could never look at you the same way again.

45 x 365 #156

156/365 - JR

I never thought much about you until you started dating a married woman. You knew that she was married, but you thought this fact made her less likely to expect something out of you long-term. You hurt her, you hurt them, but you were fine.

Thanks, MPD!!

This morning my dear husband left for work and I was hanging out in my cami, bare feet, and wet hair reading a trashy romance novel and waiting for just the right time to leave and go to school. The buzzer that indicates someone wants in the building rang. Our intercom doesn't actually work, so I pressed the button opening the front door to the apartment building thinking it was the UPS guy. Someone in this household has just ordered another guitar (that would bring the count to three and two amplifiers in our freaking living room) and I thought it was the guitar being delivered.

So, I meander downstairs, thinking I'll have to 1) sign for the package and 2) drag the damn thing upstairs. But, see, there are like seven people shuffling around in our foyer and they're looking at the mailboxes and whispering.

I quietly climb down the stairs and say, "Ummm...excuse me? Who did I just let in?"

This giant bald guy pulls a badge out from under his tshirt and says, "Police."

First off, for real? Second off, I giggled. It was just so late night television. They really do that? Pull out their badge and say police?

So, I say, "oh, I'm sorry. I just wasn't sure who I let in."

As they are busy telling me it's a good thing I came down to check, I nod and immediately take my bare footed, wet haired self back upstairs, hoping like hell that they aren't in the building to arrest me. I get upstairs and leave a frantic voicemail message for the boy, telling him that the police are in our building and they're taking over!!

A few minutes later (by this time I've put a shirt on over my cami, put socks on, and combed my hair, although my hair was still wet), there's a knock on my apartment door.

When I opened the door, somewhat nervously (what if they want to arrest me because I still have Michigan plates on my truck?) the giant bald man says, "sorry to interrupt you again, but do you know this man?" as he shoves a print off of a mug shot in front of my face. "He lives in apartment 1."

"Ummmmmm. . . no." I suggest he call the caretaker (sorry Kaitie!) and give him her phone number.

Then I call my husband and tell him that a gunrunner lives in our building. The charges the guy was wanted for include stealing weapons and selling them. Sweet. Living in the big city is AWESOME.

45 x 365 #155

155/365 - RL

A grown adult who still chews on her poorly kept, uncombed hair. Most of the time I would see you, your eyes would be the tell tale bloodshot of an all nighter filled with tokes and snacks. Wicked and acerbic, but naive an anxious, too.

45 x 365 #154

154/365 - RD

As we were heaving cardboard boxes and IKEA bookcases into the back of my truck, you talked on and on about your plans for the summer. I drove away wondering if you hated your life so much you couldn't wait for this long break.

45 x 365 #153

153/365 - DA

A southern belle who never stops whining about the cold weather. The first time you had to clear ice off your car, you didn't have a scraper. You said you felt deceived about the severity of winter here in Minnesota, but what did you expect?

45 x 365 #152

152/365 - ML

There was much drama in your life - a philandering husband, a grandfather killed in a terrorist attack, a business floundering under your leadership. But you could never tell that from your professional behavior. Solutions were never easy for you, but you always held yourself together.

45 x 365 #151

151/365 - SE

Ruthlessly organized, you never let a detail slip by. Forms were filled out, boxes were checked, and files were alphabetized. I had no idea how much I depended on these tasks being done efficiently until you weren't there anymore. Thank you for all you did.

45 x 365 #150

150/365 - KH

Condescending, irritable, and uptight with a fake smile and chirpy, grating voice. We have ceased communicating except in the most impersonal of electronic means. This works out to my advantage because then I have a well documented record of your arrogant rudeness and unreasonable demands.

45 x 365 #149

149/365 - CW

A hard working mother of two. You never rested, never relaxed. You told me once that the hours from seven to nine in the morning were your personal time to do your work and after that your every minute was scheduled. I will never have children.