Friday, May 26, 2017

Coloring with Anna

For the last ten weeks, the longest stretch of time that I have slept in my own bed is five days. Most weeks it was much less than that.  We have chosen professions that give us flexible schedules and that have allowed us to spend a great deal of time with Dr. BB's mother in her last days. But, honestly, two months ago, when the doctors said she had weeks to live, no one imagined it would last this long.  Everyone deserves an end like she is getting - filled with care and surrounded by family - but it's proven to be emotionally and physically draining. Driving back and forth, constantly worried about who's going to feed the cat and how we're going to get all our work done, is not an ideal way to live a life.

But there are so many good things to come out of it. Because of our near constant presence with her Grandma, Dr. BB and I have developed a fun relationship with our youngest niece. We have found Waldo, colored, and played Spot It with her and she'll leave the room quietly with us now instead of crying for her mother. We are now buddies is what I'm saying.

My niece helped me color this and then told me to send it to my mommy. I mailed it to my mom who promptly put it on her fridge. I'm in my thirties and insanely proud of this.

We were watching Jeopardy one day and there was some question about some pope and Dr. BB's mother, who we thought was sleeping, said the answer, clear as a bell, as if she wasn't on enough narcotics to kill the average person. I've heard her expound on face tattoos thanks to Judge Judy (not in favor), discuss Ryan Seacrest hanging out with Kelly Ripa (pretty in favor, but she really liked Strahan), and talk about how it is possible that Kathie Lee still looks that damn good (she really does - poor Hoda). 

We were there when Dr. BB's father, a retired family physician who has never shown any emotion to my knowledge, gently calmed his wife down by grabbing her hand and kissing her forehead as tears welled up in his eyes.  He loves his wife and watching this is painful for him, but he knows what to do for her and this show of love and affection was worth all the hours in the car and the scary hours sitting at her bedside watching her pulse.

This isn't easy, but I'm doing my best to be grateful for this time and to appreciate how lucky we are for this extended goodbye.

But I'm going to be super excited when I can sleep in my own bed for more than two nights in a row again.

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