Monday, November 21, 2016

Avoidance as Action

Last week my mother sliced her hand open at work and required surgery to repair a cut tendon.  My mother-in-law fell in the garage and broke her hand.  She's been on bone hardeners because of cancer treatment and they can't do surgery to pin and repair because her bones are too fragile and so her fingers are splintered together in the hope that calcium will deposit there and fix it without surgery.

If you are anything like me, when you're stressed and there are too many things beyond your control that are sneaking into your thoughts and causing you even more stress, you deny it all. Okay, you don't have to be like me, but I just keep myself busy because if I stop to sit down, it's all going to fall apart and I don't have time for an emotional breakdown at this moment.


Half a dozen Thanksgiving Day cards? Check. I don't normally even send out Thanksgiving Day cards, but you do what you have to do, you know?  Pay bills that aren't even due for three weeks?  Check.  You know, why do I need that extra money hanging out in my bank account?

Hair cut? Quick trip to the nearby town to buy unnecessary makeup products? Console myself with random online purchases that I know I will later regret but being unable to stop myself from retail therapy? Check. Check. Check.
The thread on the third button is red on purpose. It adds a pop of color to the coat. People comment on the red thread all the time. It's my own design element to an otherwise shitty jacket that I'm always having to fix (buttons, loose seams, ripped lining).  Fuck off, Prana. I'm never buying your brand again.
Fix a loose button and the separating seams in the duvet cover that have been on the to-do list for weeks?  Check. Why not?  That "medium term" list isn't getting any shorter.

Work out compulsively? Check. I haven't done two-a-days in a while. Why not see how physically exhausted I can be when I go to bed? 

Some things you can control.  I'm going to focus on those.

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