Monday, March 18, 2013

Mid-March Breakdown

Last week I almost lost my mind. There were a series of small, minor inconveniences that left me thinking that perhaps I COULD NO LONGER GO ON living.  Seriously. I became a total drama queen about every damn thing that could go wrong and that was that.

1. My winter coat ripped on a cart at the grocery store.  It's a purple puffy coat and my sister bought it for me because she loves me and it's super warm and I love it and when it ripped, there were honest to goodness tears rolling down my face at the grocery store.  (Solution:  Go home, sew it up, sew a fun patch on it.  Fixed.)
I'll let you figure out which coat it is.

2.  Denora got me this awesome print of Minneapolis and somehow I managed to screw it up while I was taking it out of the packaging.  I destroyed it. But you would have thought I would never be able to replace it EVER again the way I carried on. (Solution: Email company about the packaging. They send me new print. Fixed.)
Destroyed by a sticker. I was sad.



3. The cat and I had a bad day. It was a really bad day. She bit me repeatedly even after we played soccer, kick the feather on the fishing pole's ass, and where will NGS hide the toy next over and over and over again.  She also kept going to the stairs and scratching the carpet which she knows she is not allowed to do, but she kept doing it and kept doing it and I almost lost my ever loving mind before the boy came home that night. Good thing she's cute or I couldn't guarantee that I wouldn't drop her off at the next dairy farm I drive by. (Solution: Go to bed. Wake up in the morning to a well-behaved creature.)
Seriously, if she weren't adorable, last Thursday she would have been a goner.

4.  I got a cold.  This really destroyed my weekend. Every second I wasn't working, St. Patrick's Day celebrating, or watching Storage Wars, I was asleep. It totally knocked me on my ass.  But whatever. (Solution: Sleep? Fluids?  Don't be dumb. You know what to do when you have a cold.)

5. Then today.  Let me show you my day according to Facebook.  (I have blocked out any innocent people's names...)


I think this is just the world's way of letting me know that I should stop disparaging February's good name.  For years, I've always claimed that February was the killer month of winter, when spring seemed so far away and there was nothing to look forward to except one more futile run through the car wash, walking like a penguin to avoid falling down on the ice, and darkness falling at 4:30 in the afternoon.  But you know what? I've changed my mind. It's March I hate. I hate you, March. I hate everything about you, from your unfairness at allowing some places to be in the fucking 80s while it is snowing here to your stupid ridiculous "spring forward" that leaves it pitch black when I wake up in the morning.  I hate you, March.  Please go away. (Solution: Wait two weeks and March will go away.  Have patience.)

6. Not to leave you on such a down note, but I do get Spring Break next week.  Yes, I'll be spending in Dullsville, Wisconsin, but my mama is coming to visit me and I don't care if it's below freezing here, we're going to be in the SPIRIT of Spring Break. 

3 comments:

  1. Ah, Dullsville Wisconsin. One of my favorite towns. :)
    Sorry you are having such a bad time of it. If it was snowy here I would be SO EFFING OVER IT.

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  2. HUGS!!!

    I think you should come to New Orleans. that should surely cure your winter misery! :)

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  3. We got a foot of snow last night into this afternoon. And while I was cursing March and spring snowstorms and cold and dark, I was also awfully glad to have an unexpected respite from all thing LIFE. So I made comfort foods and didn't get out of my pajama pants all day. TAKE THAT, MARCH! :)

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