Monday, November 10, 2008

A conversation and some lists

NGS: If the Obama girls are getting a puppy, I think we should get one, too.
BB: You didn't have to live through two years of a presidential campaign.
NGS: Yes I did!! I lived in the U.S. when all that was going down! Where's my puppy?

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Things that are impossible to do with one hand:
1) Floss. I've tried, but...it's just not working.
2) Take a shower. This leaves me with baths, which I dislike intensely. Who wants to sit in their own dirty water? I've never understood this and I still don't.
3) Slice, dice, or in any way prepare my own meals. This means that yesterday I actually made the boy touch wheat bread to prepare me a PB&J sandwich for my lunch.
4) Make the bed. Our comforter is heavier than you might think.
5) Write legibly. I think teaching in the next month is going to be rather challenging.
6) Clean and/or put away dishes. The boy has had his housekeeping duties doubled. Typically he cooks and I do dishes, but not these days.
7) Eat at a nice restaurant. I more shovel food onto my fork these days than eat like a normal, civilized human being. There are some comedic moments.
8) Wear that purple dress I just bought at Bluefly. It is not the same shade of purple as my cast AND the sleeves, the long sought after sleeves, are too tight for my cast to fit over.
9) Do laundry. Look, I have a complicated system and I don't want to defend it to someone else by explaining all the steps. But I fear I'm going to have to explain it all to the boy at some point in the next month. Argh. I can't carry the baskets up and down the stairs or sort the clothes as they come out of the washer. I am sad.
10) Ride my bike.

Things that are hard, but not impossible to do with one hand:
1) Put on bras, necklaces, and belts. This involves lots of screaming for the boy to come help me.
2) Reverse the truck. I was never a good driver to begin with. Things have gotten worse.
3) Use a computer mouse. Right clicking? Really? Fortunately my laptop at home has a touchpad, so it's really only a problem at school.
4) Clean. I can dust the floorboards, wipe off the table, and generally declutter, but I can't scrub or even vacuum. Please don't come to our apartment in the next month. It will be messy.
5) Type. My right arm gets tired and my left elbow, which was banged around in the accident, too, gets sore easily. It has taken me more than two days to type this post.
6) Shave armpits. Maybe this is TMI, but I was proud of my system to accomplish this task.
7) Take a bath without a certain someone hovering over me, sure that I am going to fall into the water and get my cast wet. Or break another bone.
8) Play with a baby. I managed, but only because the child was more interested in pounding on my cast than actually playing a game involving activity in my part.
9) Teach classes. Round about hour four of teaching today and my arm was officially done.
10) Pump gas. Fortunately, I don't think I'll have to do it again before the cast comes off.

For those of you who think I am pretty nonplussed by the whole broken bone thing, I have to say you wouldn't think I was so nonchalant if you were my dear, long-suffering husband. There have been more tears shed this past week in our apartment than I care to think about. But I have to keep telling myself that it's temporary. Plus, to be honest, it doesn't hurt that much. Nothing compared to the broken rib or kidney stone. In the past seven days, I've taken a total of six Aleve as my pain management strategy. So, if you're going to break a bone in your hand, the fifth metacarpal isn't a bad one to break!!

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