Baby Gap and Me

First of all, a baby boy was born. Not to me, mind you, because we would be forced to, you know, get real jobs and stop sleeping in. So, in excitement, I ran to Baby Gap to buy cute baby clothes the parents will probably return because they are impractical, but oh so adorable. I secretly want tiny baby boys to look like miniature Biker Boys, so these clothes are what I imagine my husband wore as a wee tyke.

Item #1: Bodysuit of practicality. Listen, I know some babies don't like onesies, but they just seem so simple. I've babysat a time or a million and I prefer babies who come to me in a bodysuit and a diaper. So, just a plain white onesie. Check.




Item #2: Green bibs. I know for a fact my husband wore green bibs as a child because the picture of him his mom always shows off is a big chubby baby (yes, my husband was a chubby baby and no one knows what happened - the family priest says he just kept getting taller without putting on any weight) wearing green bibs with a teddy bear on them. Oh, the symbolism of this. Anyway, adorable! Maybe not "practical," but I'd put my kid in them.


Item #3: Argyle sweater. Hee. Hee. Hee. These people live in New Hampshire. It gets cold there, right? Their kid will need this soon?

Item #4: Plaid pants. These pants are flannel lined people! Can't you see little baby Biker Boy toddling around in these? I can.


Item #5: Toggle coat. Okay, the truth is that BB has a coat JUST LIKE THIS right now as an adult! Minus the hood. The inside of this coat is SOOOOOO soft. And the toggles. Just like my husband's coat. Anyway, I have no idea if their kid will ever actually wear this. The parents might very well immediately head off to the nearest Gap about six hundred miles away and return this. But I will have the image of their small baby wearing a coat that looks just like something my husband is wearing!

Item #6: The plaid driving cap. I nearly peed myself laughing at this hat in the store. Dress your infant up like an old man! Of course. Who wouldn't? I love it and bought it.


I think that this might mean I'm addicted to Baby Gap, but wouldn't all this stuff just make you coo and coo and coo if you opened up a package with a plaid hat in it?!