Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Sun Induced Tramp Stamp

I have a long torso. This means that shopping for pants is easy. I just buy what fits me at the waist and if the pants are too long, I either get them hemmed or wear heels. But shopping for shirts is a challenge. Most shirts are just too short and a bit of my rolly polly belly hangs out. I...am not fond of this.

Last summer was pretty awesome for us long-torsoed girls. Stores were making extra-long tank tops and camisoles. These extra-long shirts really just fit me like a normal shirt, but still. It was easy! This summer, I have a budget crisis and can not afford a shopping spree, but even if I could, the "long layering tees" of last summer have shrunk! At some of my favorites stores, shirts called "long,"ones that fit just perfectly last year, now do not. I am sad. Bring back the extra fabric! Please!

Since I have been riding my bike on my commute to work pretty regularly, I have been pretty diligent in the application of sunscreen to my face, arms, and neck. It sucks because when I get to work I am typically sweaty and covered in sunscreen, but you do what you have to do, right? Even if I could afford to actually drive further than the grocery store, I'd have to pay for parking and I have a Midwesterner's disdain for that. I could take the bus, but then I have to leave twice as much time to actually get there and that might cut on in the amount of sleep I get. So, sweaty and sunscreened I am when I get into work.

The other day, as I was getting ready for bed, I heard BB snicker behind me. I turned and gave him THE LOOK to let him know I was not amused. He pointed at my back. I have a nice tan streak on my back where my too short shirts don't quite cover my back when I'm bent over riding my bicycle. "It's a sun induced tramp stamp!"

Argh. This could be solved, I suppose, by buying some bicycling jerseys. There is clothing designed for the purpose of riding bikes. The shirts are cut longer in the back so that every inch is covered when you are bent over. The thing is, they are expensive and ugly. There. I said it. If I'm going to spend that much money on a shirt, I don't want it to be ugly. Why do performance fabrics have to look like that? Plus, when I go to try on shirts at the bike store, I have to try on extra-extra-super-jumbo large shirts because girls who cycle are TINY and I am not. It makes me feel self-conscious and awful and why can't Pearl Zumi get on the Gap bandwagon ("really? a small is too big? I'll go ahead and get this extra-small then? Geez, Gap, you make a girl feel good.")? I know that just because it's labelled "ginormous" doesn't mean I am ginormous, but until they fix this system, I am going to have to be sure to include sunscreen on my lower back!

2 comments:

  1. If you really want to get creative, slap some cool stickers on your lower back and don't apply sunscreen. You could come up with some wicked designs! :)

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  2. I hear you!! I have the extra long torso as well. (Why o why did Speedo get rid of their extra long suits) Fortunately my messenger bag covers that spot or I'd have the same thing. I hate how gooped up my skin feels all the time from sunblock, but without it, I'm skin cancer waiting to happen.

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