American Fantasy by Emma Straub

Sarah's girlfriend broke up with her and took the cat, so she agrees to do a back-to-back on the American Fantasy, a cruise ship that's latest trip is centered around Boy Talk, a boy band whose peak popularity was decades ago. For four days, women will get a chance to do activities and make memories with the five members of the band and Sarah gets to direct the entire thing. Meanwhile, Annie's going on the cruise by herself since her sister broke her leg just before they were supposed to leave. 

I read this book in one day. It's absolutely readable. It's also sort of bad? 

Consider this passage:

Tonya smiled a familiar smile - lips closed, eyes wide - one that said I know you, even though she didn't, not really. The brothers were used to this look, as well as its cousin, Do I know you? It was what Dr. Robert, his therapist described as "the business of being Keith Fiore," and it was what they had spent a decent percentage of their time talking about over the years. Usually, the answer was meditation or breathing. (page 11)

I had to read this passage a couple of times. I do not care for the how hard it is to be famous trope, so I was already a bit thrown. But then the answer to what question? The only question in the passage is Do I know you? and meditation is not an answer to that. So, that's on page 11. And, friends, it continued to be just the tiniest bit confusing to read page by page. Not confusing enough that I couldn't read it, but confusing enough that the 3.22 on Goodreads makes sense. 

The most interesting parts of the book were Annie and Sarah and I really can't deal with the aging pop stars feeling sorry for themselves. It's just not relatable to me. You have enough money to have a landing pad. Figure your shit out and find something else you like to do and do it. Or don't do anything. But don't be miserable about it. 

(I have to admit that I find myself frustrated with my students sometimes in discussion about things like changing major or finding a minor. What do you like to do? I ask them. They stare. What do you do when you're not studying? There's always something, I promise. They play videogames, they volunteer walking dogs, they are vice-president of the Rock Painting Club, whatever. I had a whole unsatisfying conversation once with a woman who claimed she had nothing outside of school and work. Okay, maybe. Sometimes adult students are like that. We looked at history and sociology and all of a sudden she said that her foster daughter hated her World History class and SUDDENLY WE WERE THERE. Foster daughter? Yes, ha ha. Didn't I mention that? I do a lot of work with foster kids and I am a guardian ad litem....THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN HELPFUL KNOWLEDGE HALF AN HOUR AGO.)

Ahem. 

I've never been on a cruise and this doesn't make me want to go on a cruise. 

I don't know? I still thought it was fun. I feel like I've been on a cruise now, does that count?

3/5 stars

Line of note:

Cruises in particular had never appealed to her for all the usual reasons: bacterial diseases, an air of elderly American laziness, buffets in a pandemic world. (page 20)

This. 

Hat mentions (why hats?):

Raybans and baseball hats (page 12)

baseball hat (page 38, 48, 73, 149, 195)

baseball hat's brim (page 43)

captain hats (page 94, 167, 258)

hats for the choreo (page 122)

captain's hat (page 128)

top hat (page 128)

straw hats (page 147)

sunscreen and a hat (page 148)

Panama hat (page 148)

a thousand sun hats (page 159)

brim of his hat (page 167)

pulled off his hat (page 189)

touched the hat (page 195)

bucket hat (page 215, 259)

hat and sunglasses (page 282)

(I love that the first one is Raybans and baseball hats and the last one is hat and sunglasses. The symmetry pleases me.)

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The Goodreads reviews on this are so great. Some of them say this is based on Backstreet Boys or NSYNC, some say New Kids on the Block, and some say Menudo (unlikely since most of the women on the cruise are white, but more power to people who see Menudo in the band) or Take That. My first reaction was definitely NKOTB, but that shows my age. What's the boy band of your youth?