Wednesday, September 11, 2013

This is...

...heartbreaking.  My husband is in bed right now, where he has been since he came home from school today.  This is what chronic illness is. It is fighting your body to get up every morning, do your job well, and come home and live a life.  But sometimes you lose that fight and something has to go.  Recently I overheard some family members talking about how I overstate just how sick he really is. Listen, motherfuckers. Every day it's something new.  A new symptom, a new food he suddenly can't tolerate, a new sluggishness that just can't be fought off.  He's sick. He's tired. Some days it seems like he's never going to get better. And some days I just want to crawl in to bed next to him and ask someone else to take over for a bit.

...frustrating. I drove 50 miles to meet a student today. I waited for an hour before it finally sunk it to me that he just wasn't going to show up. I paid my $1.85 for parking and drove the 50 miles back home.  I will get paid for mileage and that is all.  Hours of my life gone with nothing to show.

...a little annoyance. They are building houses across the street from our building.  All day long the noise makes me crazy.  It makes me even crazier that the noise starts at 7:00 am, which is far too early for jackhammers and the beep beep beep of cranes, excavators, concrete trucks, and diggers (which, I have been told yet again by another male in my life, is not the same thing as a bulldozer - how do boys and men know these things?).

...not my day. I don't know why I'm so grouchy right now. I'm going to go to bed and wake up, reread this, and immediately regret it.  I'm all right. I'm okay. I'm going to make it.

Edited to add: This is the picture that wouldn't load. She's absolutely crazy - look how big those pupils are!


1 comment:

  1. I hope that you had a good sleep. And that when you wake up, there are little moments in the day that make you smile.

    ReplyDelete

 
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