Saturday, April 30, 2005

Wedding madness

Here's a list:

1) A good friend from high school (purple dress)
2) A not-so-good friend from high school, but how do you say no? (hideous ice blue dress)
3) Bestest friend (flowered purple dress)
4) Another good friend from high school (black dress)
5) A good friend who I met while interning in Washington, DC in college (undecided)

These are the weddings I have either been in or will be in soon. Let's continue with the list. I have an older sister. Maybe someday she'll get married. I have a cousin who I'm close to. She'll probably want me in her wedding. I have another good friend from college and one from when I worked before I came to evil grad school.

It's on my mind right now, because it's that time of year. I just got back from a wedding and there's another one in a month. One of my friend's just got engaged and she asked me to be her maid of honor. And I don't GET weddings. I'm more than willing to do this for my friends, but when I think about weddings, I'm super-puzzled.

The bride and groom get all dressed up for this day. And look unlike they do any other day. And there's a big party. How about the big party once you've made it past that ten year hump and you're able to say, "hey, we're not divorced?" It's so hard to pretend that the thought of divorce isn't always in the back of my head.

Anyway, back to me not GETTING it. It's simple, I think. Religion in a world somewhat removed from the ideas that it espouses. A time when we get together to celebrate, but what are we celebrating? A man who doesn't want to be tied down? A woman who is allowing herself to be subsumed? A couple who claims a desire for equality, but the woman still does the laundry, dishes, dusting, and mopping? A bringing together of families who will never see each other again and will be talked about over Christmas dinners in an evil way ("I can't believe they had to go Buffalo to be with Melly's family instead of here with us?")?

The tears? What's going on with the people crying? What? What? I don't get it.

It's like newborn babies. No, they're not atractive. They look like little aliens. How come I'm supposed to say, "awwww....how cute." No. Puppies are cute. Kitties are cute. Newborn babies are like something from outer space that we'd throw back if we found while exploring on Mars. Weddings are like that. Why do I have to act like I am so excited for these couples? I'm happy if they're happy. But do they need a wedding for that? Why can't we be happy just accepting that we're in a happy relationship? I understand the need for a commitment, but why can't we just talk privately and quietly and admit that we are in love and want to be together? What's the big deal?

My bestest friend got married last summer. To a man who I never liked. I was in the wedding, but it wasn't the best experience ever. How do you toast to a man who has hit your friend? Who doesn't have a high school diploma and hasn't had a steady job in his life? Well, I talked to her briefly today and she told me that she almost kicked him out. For lots of reasons. He doesn't have a job. He just sits at home all day. They are broke. She told me he's no better than the dogs except she likes the dogs. It's sad. Why do we do this to ourselves?

But her dogs are better than her husband.

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